Happy Birthday to Me | Life Experience Points

On this fateful day 24 years my mum didn’t know I would be coming, cause I looked at the calendar and she probably got pregnant with me sometime in July of 1995, that’s when I first became alive, so really shouldn’t my birth date be sometime in July of 1995?

But for real I came out from her womb on the 8th of April 1996, and my mother has loved me ever since, even though I was and still can be a huge thorn in her side. I am forever her baby girl, even though I’m a whopping 23 years old today.

I can’t believe I’m 23, my life isn’t merging or falling into place, people say it’s my fault, because I’m not valuing my self-worth, but oh well, with time hopefully everything falls into place, because right now I have a lot more down days than happy days, but somehow thanks to God, I am prevailing.

This year’s birthday post is going to be very personal because I’m going to be sharing some life-altering situations! I’m calling it Life Experience Points because some of these situations are rare and doesn’t happen on the regular to an average human. So buckle in!

Life Experience Points

The Pizza, I Will Forever Mourn

I had just gotten money someone was owing me, and I was broke, still a broke child, broke in the sense I don’t have spare money to spend on my wants. So this extra cash was perfect to satisfy my want for Pizza. I had gotten the pizza, happily and I ate only two slices out of maybe eight, it was from Domino’s, and I was like there’s no way in hell I’m sharing this pizza with anyone, I’m going to eat it all by myself with my hard earned cash.

I had plans for it, it would be my dinner and snack. So when work closed I was carrying a lot of bags, so I put the box into one of my bags and sat in front beside the keke driver, cause I like to get home fast after work, don’t want no stress or to be fighting to get space.

The bag had to be balanced beside the driver, because I was already holding my handbag and my laptop bag, and had to hold on to the keke also, so I wouldn’t fall off, the trip ended and I paid and was off, about a minute later I remembered I was meant to be carrying another bag, the bag with my dinner, and some other papers. I turned back around but it was too late the keke and its driver had gone.

I felt real heartbreak, my soul was crushed and a gloominess settled over me. I had just lost something very dear to me and I could only hope that the keke driver didn’t throw it away but ate it with his friends.

I just don’t know how I could have forgotten my pizza in public transport, that’s just the height of my forgetfulness.

Encounter with a Paedophile

I was in primary 5, aged 10. I had been enrolled for after-school lessons and the lesson teachers picked us up after school. There was this young teacher, he reminded me of my older brother, because of how easy it was to talk to him and he was always friendly and smiling. I was used to people telling me I was pretty, so I didn’t think much of it, the first time he told me I was pretty and come on I was 10 years old, I was still a clueless kid, who didn’t really understand adult shenanigans.

I had started developing crushes, and my friends were teaching me adult words, such as sex, condom, kissing and etc. I knew what kissing was. I and a lot of my friends had shared a lot of kissing, I blame it on the game “mummy and daddy” my kid must never ever play this game.

He was very kind and nice. One day I wanted to buy a beautiful pen, but I was out of cash and I thought let me ask him if he could help, and I would repay him the next day. I approached him and I asked, and then he said “I’ll give you cause I like you. Do you like me?” which I thought was harmless and I was like “Yeah, I like you. Thank you.” but he wasn’t finished because next thing he said was “You have to give me a kiss for it.”

All my red flags went up. My mum had drilled it into me, don’t sit on anyone’s lap, if someone touches you in between your legs or on your chest tell me. I wasn’t warned about kissing, but I knew kissing was bad, and frowned up by all the adults in my life, because of how I was always made to close my eyes during kissing scenes. Plus he an adult, I just knew it just wasn’t right.

My heart started hammering because I realised what he meant when he had said “I like you” it was like when my crush had said he liked liked me on Valentine’s day and had given me a rose and a jewellery box set. I shook my head, said “No” and booted it out of the room, forfeiting the pen forever.

I was too scared to report him, I felt like if I did I would be in trouble or it would be my fault somehow. I was very fearful of my mum punishing or beating me because I was getting beaten on the regular and my mum usually believed the adults over me first. I don’t know child logic.

I started avoiding him, but he made it a point to blow me kisses or stare longingly at me when no one was looking. I stopped being cordial and was always rude to him, but he never stopped being lewd, until we closed for the term break and when we returned he wasn’t there.

I forgot all about this experience until some years ago, I don’t even recall what jogged my memory, but I cried so hard the day I remembered, because what if it had escalated? What if he made a move on another innocent girl and that’s why he got fired? I would never know, the world is really a scary and dangerous place.

A Tale about Reading.

This one is going to be short and I’m quite embarrassed about it, once upon a time I was a girl who always had her eyes and nose stuck in between the pages of a book…oh wait, I’m still that girl haha! but for real, I was always walking and reading, which was very hazardous because I was a really clumsy teenager, I tripped over nothing and was always losing my balance.

I was carrying out this particular bad habit of mine in the safety of my secondary school grounds or so I had thought. Unfortunately for me I had forgotten on this chosen day, that I was walking by myself and my trusty friend, who was always near me, ready to catch me if I tripped or was being clumsy, or direct me so I don’t harm myself wasn’t with me.

I was so caught up in the book I was reading, I walked into a wall, hitting my forehead quite hard, and it was in that moment I knew I was seriously a book nerd.

Thankfully no one was around to make fun of me, because boy did people make fun of me because I was always reading. It’s a very fond memory of mine now and I’m happy to share it with you all.

Encounter with a Mad Woman

This happened in February this year. I was walking to my office building, kinda speed walking because I was running a little late. A woman had started walking right from the moment I got down at my bus stop, a few feet ahead of me, carrying a huge white gym bag, which I thought nothing wrong of until I noticed her feet, it was dirty, which was when I noticed her outfit which was also dirty and had holes in it.

My brain was being slow to process but I was a lot of inches behind her, when she stopped and because I’m walking behind her I had to pause so I wouldn’t just hit her, she turned around and I think because I looked her in the eye, she spat on me.

Like she gathered the spit and spat on my face, I immediately went into shock. She had turned around at an alarming rate accused me of judging her and spat on me. I an innocent passerby, who had been trudging that road for more than 9 months without any incident every morning.

I looked around to see if anyone else had seen what had just happened, because I was still in disbelief. I moved forward then paused, because I just couldn’t believe what had just happened and the madwoman continued her journey like nothing had happened.

I stunk, I rushed to the office, even though I wanted to go home. I washed and scrubbed my face. Thankful I had my trusty office sweater, I removed my top which also stunk of her saliva, and wore my sweater for the rest of the day. I still haven’t won the top until now and I may never wear the top again.

I had all the spiritual worries. I was like is this evil out to get me? Am I going to turn mad? Will I be infected? Will maggot start growing on my face? I was jittery throughout the day and my mum had to call me a lot of times to check up on me. Now I am very vigilant about the people who are walking around me, I can’t be subjected to the wrath of a mad person ever again.

And so you have it! I have many more experience points but these will do, I wanted to go for three, cause 23, but then I figured I would share two terrible experiences as well as two funny and pathetic experiences. I’m working today, it’s going to be a long day, I’m very thankful for living to see another year, here is to more growth, insight and love.

Happy birthday to me!

2 thoughts on “Happy Birthday to Me | Life Experience Points”

  1. Happy Birthday Lara!!
    So sorry about the incident with the mentally deranged lady, it must have been scary.
    I tthank God that you kept yourself away from that paedophile and that the story ended in the best way. He may have been a corps member as we had those sort of stories with corps members/ IT students when I was in secondary school. Scary stuff!
    New domain name I see, well done!
    Wishing you all the very best this new year ❤️❤️

    1. Hello Desire, not new lol, it’s my personal blog. Thank you! Swear to God, so many strange occurrences. Thank you for reading!

Leave a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *